Welp...herpes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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