I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
