Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
