sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
