i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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