I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
