arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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