I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
