therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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