mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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