New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
