There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
