pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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