Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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