Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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