the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would ride that face into the sunset
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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