shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
babies were throwing up all over the place
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize