My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
