i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
then he tried to convert me to islam
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
