Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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