i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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