He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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