Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
