I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
