its not stalking. its research.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
