It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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