You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.