She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.