All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
