I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
