i jhust puked up my retainher.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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