yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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