I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
