Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
try to milk me bitch
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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