I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
