Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
