I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
