I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
