I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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