In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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