This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
