I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
