Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
