How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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