oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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