Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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