sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
