a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
