its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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