i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
