Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
well you can't waste a boner
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
