All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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