I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
