My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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