sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize