I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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