Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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