we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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