Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
