He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
