I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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